Hey kids you are about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice if you need

medical advice or medical care please

contact your doctor

Welcome to the Jock Doc Podcast

featuring Dr. London Smith

roses are red violets are blue please

give our podcast a five-star review

introducing your host Dr. London

[Music]

Hello and welcome to the Jock Doc

Podcast where we discuss fitness and

health and how to incorporate our modern

understanding of science and medicine

into our daily lives but without it

being so boring I’m your host Dr. London

Smith (.com) I would like to begin by

apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received some feedback regarding the

overuse of complicated medical

terminology that I’ve been using such as

lipophilic and Valentine so I will try

to keep my wording a little more

simplified in the future here to help

with that is our producer Cameron

three-two-one

hello oh hey sorry I didn’t mean to

interrupt no I’m just

I felt like I deserve a little fanfare

and maybe a countdown

you’ve never counted down for me so I

had to do it myself okay yeah yes you’ve

never kind of down for me either I don’t

your name is on the show so I just

figured you already get in the world

okay so maybe us lesser folks would like

a countdown every once in a while but

I’ll do it myself

no problem not mad about it okay it was

a so Cameron works so hard to keep this

podcast relevant to the average listener

that when he heard that love is in the

air he dressed in camouflage and took

his hunting rifle then proceeded to

spend six consecutive days camped in his

neighbor’s backyard mm-hmm and I’m in

seventh day I arrested yeah so I’m

guessing that you did this in order to

shoot love if you ever see it flying

into the air Cameron yeah sure and on

the seventh day I rested okay and so I

did you did you shoot something or like

did I complete the task at hand who’s to

say okay did I shoot something that

someone probably loved at a certain

point that I guess you could sort of say

represented love maybe did well now I’m

a little bit concerned whoa whoa whoa

don’t just you know jump on me Dr.

London come on well

you were in your neighbor’s backyard

before I fall I have no dog in this

fight dr. London and they have a

trampoline my dog died last week I’ve

had no dog in this fight

okay I’m sorry to hear that yeah I

didn’t realize okay uh well yeah yeah

that’s that’s I guess a difficult

Valentine’s Day for you this week how

how did your dog die

he had stigmata okay dog stigmata I I

guess I’m not well I’m not a vet so I

don’t deal with this so much Oh stigmata

like the wounds of Christ that’s right

yeah like the supernatural disease that

Catholic people sometimes believe in

about developing the wounds of Christ

miraculously and yes unfortunately how

my dog passed your dog obtained the

wounds of Christ

unfortunately so its front paws I guess

yep little little cuts

yeah just dog stigmata

I’m sorry to hear that no it’s it’s okay

okay well I hate to leave at that tone

but um also with us is did you do the

hose sit back and drink a carbonated

beverage I do not harvest hearts special

guests so look forward to that that’s

right dr. London before we move on I

would like to address a bit of listener

feedback I tried to use my 20% of Bed

Bath & Beyond coupon to buy me my wife a

vacuum for Christmas but the woman

behind the counter would not let me the

woman kept saying sir this is a windy

London don’t you sometimes get tired of

it’s like listener feedback stuff always

hearing from the listeners don’t you

think the listeners might want to hear

from you yes I I guess I always just

think listeners open honest said don’t

you want to be open and honest our

listeners don’t know anything about your

personal life they know you on a

professional level but we’re always

hearing stories about me and all the

crazy adventures I get into but you’re

this big question mark to a lot of our

listeners they don’t know you like I do

right haven’t looked through your diary

saebom looked through your you know

taxes yeah most most people haven’t load

through my taxes most people aren’t

supposed to look through my diary or my

journal well I have see well I didn’t

see know about yes and that’s sort of

what I wanted to talk to about it this

is this this is our sort of our

Valentine’s Day episode this episode’s

coming out the week of Valentine’s

and you know you know i-i’ve been in a

loving relationship for the last 15

years and I get a lot of fulfillment

from from my girlfriend and you dr.

London on the other hand

yeah well I’ve just being so busy

professional you’re always working I

it’s hard to make time and no one no one

is gonna judge you for being a a lonely

single man thank you

it sounded a little judgy but so yeah so

for me I’m trying to I guess especially

for Valentine’s Day I have been trying

to see someone to kind of you know have

someone special for that day yeah so I

guess I’ve been trying to impress people

like whenever I see you know pretty lady

then I do have what what do you do okay

and you know this from the diary and how

it turned out but um so sometimes if I’m

at the park and I see a bunch of birds

and I also see a pretty lady and in

Britain those two are the same I think

yeah but um if I see a lady then I’ll

try to impress her by you know yelling

and running into the birds and scaring

them all away and trying to get them to

kind of flourish

yeah well and like I just look really

big and tough if I can scare them all

away yeah yeah like dominance you know

from what I understand ladies sometimes

like like that aggressive guy yeah yeah

that sounds great yeah sometimes also if

there is the once again if there’s a

lady around and like a rap song comes on

sometimes I’ll be you know lone in my

car on the way back from hospital

whatever and I’ll really practice these

rap songs I’ll do it so I could even

though they think they talk really fast

all even like the whole time oh my mouth

all the words Wow

and so like that Busta Rhymes song from

like seven years ago or whatever yeah

probably

look at me now he’s like

okay well I can’t do what you’re doing

but I can mouth it super well so

sometimes it’ll like it the song comes

on or sometimes I’ll even put in the

jukebox myself and then I’ll look at the

girl and I’ll just I’ll mount the rap is

the intention that she thinks you’re

rapping or is the intention that she

sees how quickly your lips move which

I’m sure you think helps kissing which

we’ll get into that in a second well I

hadn’t made any connection to those I

for me it was like the ability to

memorize a song and then move my mouth

accordingly okay so it’s not about

convincing her that you you kiss really

fast I didn’t know that

like I had zero connection in my mind to

that okay so what you’re suggesting is

good I think a lot of women will be very

impressed by that but the reason they

will be is because what women want is a

fast kisser yes okay because you you

let’s be honest dr. London have how much

kissing experience have you had no I’ve

read a lot about it yeah of course so so

in that sense I had met you medically

you’ve read a lot about it you like the

Latin terms or whatever for kissing yeah

the orbicularis Oris yeah I’ve read that

there’s yeah there’s a certain emotion

that you’re lots of the muscles in your

mouth have to make yeah and that you

know to give our listeners an example I

know this is an audio format so it’s

hard to show you a proper way to kiss a

nice young woman right but it would

sound something like this like to me

you’re just rapping now yeah exactly do

you see how a young woman that you’re

trying to woo might see you rapping

really fast and think like oh this is

the type of guy that I might want a

smooch later so this is just like in was

it the Karate Kid with the wax on wax

off thing it seems like I’m training for

something else

yes and I’m mr. Miyagi yeah and you’re

the stupid little kid right yeah okay

so there is another technique which I

think this one I have connected as being

like potentially helping me romantically

so one time I so I was that there was

there was someone I liked and I was with

their family for Thanksgiving and so I

someone said something I was just very

sensitive that day like it happens to

any of us mm-hmm but like like they were

someone sound like you know Pass pass

the gravy and there there had been

something the day before or whatever so

I was kind of triggered by that so I

start weeping yeah and I’m like it’s

coming down I my nose is all snotty what

I mean what had happened the day before

with gravy do you have to dr. London no

you said at the beginning of this

segment that you want it to be open and

honest with our listeners don’t matter

but this is it this is ant no I don’t

want to bring that but the point though

the point in that situation yeah is that

so I so I started I was weeping but then

I saved this is the part that makes me

feel like I do have an edge you poured

you pour the gravy in your cereal

instead of milk on accident didn’t you

dr. London it’s okay hey dr. London it’s

okay well I didn’t I didn’t like I

didn’t mean to do it yes okay it’s okay

we all make mistakes

you know maybe not mistakes as bad as

that and know that you know I’m not

gonna lie to you that’s not something

you can ever take back but so for me

yeah the big boy that whole story is

that as I’m weeping and I tell her I

look straight into her eyes and I say

although triggered by emotion

this actually is how the body cleans the

eyes so it’s not even weird that I’m

crying at your parents Thanksgiving

dinner

dr. London that is just a normal human

bodily thing yeah that’s what I said I

like it didn’t she didn’t want me to

stay there and I was pretty conditional

for me to be there at all like I I had

to pull some strings actually to get

invited to that dinner and I wasn’t

really invited anyway so yeah so that’s

just another way that like that’s to

show her how brainy I am yeah pulling

the medical aspect right yeah and I

guess the other big way that I’ve

flirted before was like maybe whenever I

was in high school and my parents bought

me a car the girls liked that yeah

about me success from that or is

assuming that girls like to you because

of that or I guess I never I never did a

single person like say anything positive

about the car to you at all oh the

salesman thought it was okay yeah the

salesman said that it was a great car

and that that I he told me that the

ladies would love it yeah well if he

would know more than I do I’m not a car

so he knows way more about cars than me

and said ya know and so I I

assumed that it worked like not well

like I didn’t have a girlfriend but like

no but you knew what was going on behind

the scene and I could have I could have

had one from what I understand yeah

because I had that car no he said it was

like the best one for that that makes

sense yeah so yeah so that’s I guess

that’s flirting to me if that was that

your question originally yeah sorta I

just kind of wanted to know just what

steps you were taking this Valentine’s

Day to hopefully land you a date right

and I guess have you had any success

like in terms of like I’ve done the rap

mouthing thing if that’s what you mean

I’ve done it well I can realize do you

have a do you have a date I mean from

the wrapping thing do you have a date

lined up for Valentine okay now I guess

I didn’t see the next step in a process

that’s a tough one

yeah I get I honestly I kind of thought

that I was done after mouthing the rap I

thought that was you just thought that

was the beginning middle and end of a

relationship yeah so I should say I have

a lot of ex I never had a girlfriend but

I’ve had a lot of exes yeah a lot of

girls that I’ve looked at made not all

of them but a lot of them I made eye

contact with probably impressed with

your car too

yeah well yeah once but once I take them

outs I asked them to go outside with me

yeah and point to the car and I say if

my parents bought that yeah my parents

actually bought that for me what was the

what was the cereal with the gravy what

was it was it cakes was it

frosted fight its lucky charms

look I didn’t look that’s that’s not the

part that I wanted to talk about no I

know but it’s about honesty on this show

you’ve really opened up with us today I

just I don’t normally have all this

going on but it’s Valentine’s anyway so

we can move on yeah yeah we’re ready to

move on we can move on I you know in in

this sense yes now for a tale from the

ER we had a patient who had just been in

a serious car crash and I needed to

check to see if the patient’s rectal

sphincter tone was intact you check for

this to evaluate for nerve damage along

with checking for things like gross

blood hemoccult result and rectal vault

integrity so or if like a Hot Wheels got

up there no that’s not what we were

expecting necessarily but so so I spread

his cheeks to begin that portion of the

exam and tomorrow and it in fact was but

to my surprise plastic bags filled with

marijuana spilled out of his anus you

can expect a number well I’m not sure if

I would be encouraging but so you you

can’t expect a number of things

I suppose Hot Wheels but in this case

drug smuggled to a lot of things can

exit a rear-end on exam mm-hmm but I was

not expecting that in particular now for

today’s medical topic Lou etic heart Lou

etic heart is a complication of

syphilitic aortitis okay hold up hold up

dr. London detailing can we fact check

that real quick yes okay could you try

that again why will we

through the fact-checker and it came out

wrong okay you did that’s what that

thing in the room is yeah that’s the

fact-checking machine it’s so big

well yeah I mean it’s a big it’s a big

ordeal I mean this is chuckling it’s an

election year I mean writing itself is

so huge yeah but I’m saying like you

need a big machine to deal with a big

problem this is an election year in our

last election and in this one we’ve

already dealt with I mean fake news

false information thank you I want to go

through everything that you’re saying I

want to make sure that we’re above board

I don’t want to be like these other

podcasts who just put out information we

have no idea if it’s true or not okay so

just go ahead I’m just gonna I’m gonna

every once in a while I’m gonna stop

what you’re saying I’m gonna send it

over to DJ Dillon to run what you just

said

through the fact-checking machine and

then we’ll process it okay but I’m not

probably not gonna change what I’m

saying I gotta warn you on that as long

as the people know that it’s false

information then that is fine as we just

have to be aboveboard about it that’s

all okay so Louetta card is a

complication of syphilitic aortitis

usually affecting men in their fourth to

fifth decade of life stop DG Dylan can

you fourth or fifth decade okay that’s

true go ahead okay so syphilis can

present initially as a painless genital

ulcer that goes away on its own and

because it is painless and seemingly

self resolving people may not seek

treatment for it okay stop that real

quick your genitals go away on their own

go ahead your genitals as far as what

the Machine is saying they do stick

around unless you remove them yourself

they don’t just you know go away into

thin air on their own but go ahead okay

and I was referring to genital ulcers

not butt so if if they do not receive

treatment for that syphilis infection

one potential complication is Louetta

heart which is an aneurysm or an

excessive localized enlargement of the

aortic arch and this can have retrograde

extension so it extends backwards all

right we’re gonna double-check this

real quick what you say retro genital

arch we’re gonna see no there are there

genital arch back in the olden days the

same as ours today that’s what the

machines telling us okay this can lead

to a aortic regurgitation or a backwards

flow of blood back towards the heart and

stenosis well away let’s check this

heart barf let’s check heart barf heart

barf is real okay go ahead and stenosis

or blockage of aortic branches most

commonly the coronary arteries so this

can be quite dangerous because blocked

coronary arteries are the cause of heart

attack okay let’s double check this real

quick we’re gonna check if it’s

dangerous to have blocked arteries it is

okay it is dangerous to have blocked

arteries okay

treatment for Louetta heart is with IV

penicillin and also surgical repair all

right let’s double check that the things

he listed does that actually help it

does it does it doesn’t it objectively

does not why are you giving people

medical recommendations that are false

okay well in this case you’re listing

these medications that they can’t do

anything with so the one medication I

listed is penicillin and it is it is odd

that there is still something that can

be treated by penicillin because most

bacteria have developed a resistance to

it but syphilis is the exception to that

can we can we double check and see if

maybe the cure for all the stuff dr. Lin

is saying is just having a light salad

every once in a while

yep that’s it okay so forget your

penicillin forget your whatever just

have a light salad you feeling bad have

a light salad all right yeah well go

ahead and move on from there then all

right Cameron do we have a sponsor today

yes we do dr. London

we’ve talked about this a little bit

before with other companies but you know

subscription boxes they’re very very in

right now okay yeah a popular one is the

nerd one or whatever the geek box or

whatever you like toys and stuff there’s

the blue apron and hellofresh and all

those food ones but you know what is

missing from this field what health

related items okay things to keep people

healthy

yeah like fitness or I guess the food

items are related to that but sure but

that’s just one little eat wouldn’t you

say that diet is only a small portion of

the larger health spectrum yeah

exercises absolutely aspect so we I mean

we’ve already started our own box could

be the jock dock box yeah we started

this a few months ago and it’s I mean

it’s really taken off we have actually

quite a few customers already cuz this

is the first I’ve heard about it well

yeah I wanted to get it off the ground

before I told you about it cuz you get

mad at me so often about our sponsors

and my ideas and stuff okay but actually

we have some subscriber feedback already

okay yeah you can we can go ahead and

listen to some of our customer

testimonials okay and hopefully that’ll

get more people on board

well my name is Ethan I’m supposed to do

a review of the jock dock box here is

it’s kind of weird that it’s you know in

crayon but I thought from the name it

was gonna have to do with my modern-day

understanding of like medicine and

science you know jock doc makes sense

but it was filled completely with ants

and that’s it okay that’s the first part

of the the testimonial okay so I guess

the obvious follow-up question there is

Cameron did you fill up a box with ants

and then call that the jock box as a

part of the subscription so I mean

that’s definitely one of our boxes we

have a variety of boxes I mean it

changes from you know all the time from

box to box well see this is this is kind

of why I’d like you to run it past me

first before you start it okay because I

can give input to say your input would

be stopped and I hate that I hate

hearing that word it’s so negative well

I’m all about positivity saying yes yes

so for this I might have said something

to the effect of you know like maybe

let’s get some exercise information or

like weights or something irrelevant too

expensive okay you know what’s healthy

you know what’s full of protein and I

you know one of the most common medical

devices in history or the leeches and

answer kind of like leeches right

well they they’re I mean leeches even

have current medical use not a lot not

as differently from they were the way

they’re used in the past and you can get

way more ants on a person’s body than

you can get leeches and people can die

from that I guess is the counter point I

would make there I mean these aren’t

like killer ants they’re just normal

ants

normal do you know what type of ant they

are yeah the this the ants like they

like the mound ants I guess the amount

dance okay

yeah so those I mean if they bite do

these ones bite I’m hearing just

negativity can we play the rest the next

clip okay well I guess I I’m not exactly

so do you sneak into the customers

houses and put the box under the covers

of their that’s a great question doctor

London so first of all I want I do want

to clarify you’ve you we both I guess

said the word customers I do want to say

you don’t necessarily sign up for this

service as much as I sort of choose to

bless you with our service and the heart

of blessing that service is guaranteeing

that our people have a box every single

day no matter what and okay I guess one

of the issues there what if they don’t

want the box like in this case that that

customer did not seem to want the

company like he said they got rid of the

ants yeah after he had used them I’m

sure I got rid of a bag of M&Ms earlier

cuz I ate them all when you say get rid

of it does sound like throwaway not not

eat them or whatever else you would do

with I got read as them down my belly

yeah – is not common terminology to use

I think in the ant community it is which

is that probably where our confusion

comes from okay I let’s just hear the

next clip

I was recording it for the first couple

of days because you know I was confused

how it got here

and it just appears it’s not a dude or

anything it just shows up I don’t know I

just got back from vacation and while I

was on vacation the Box appeared in the

Airbnb every day and it was still like

filled with fans I’m so so you made it I

guess you made it sound like you would

alternate what the contents of the box

would be but it’s just ants every time

this specific customer and so far all of

our customers have received the this the

thorax package as we call it we call

thorax because of that specific part of

an ants body that’s the healthiest part

I’ve seen like a nice like healthy

thorax are you talking about pretty fit

are you talking about ants yeah I I

guess I never thought of how fit a given

ants body parts are it’s the healthiest

part okay so see scent you’ve been doing

this for months

yeah how did you do like you know

getting into this customer’s Airbnb bed

well part of part of the job talk box

carrying tea is that you’re always going

to receive your subscription no matter

where you are if you go on vacation boom

you’re still gonna get it you move to

another place across the country boom

you’re still gonna get it is this what

you’ve been doing whenever you like a

lot of times you’ve just disappeared for

days okay and like you’ll come back

covered in dirt you know covered in

sewage covered in health

yeah and it’s to deliver these what I

guess what I’m asking is do you deliver

these yourself I mean yeah okay it’s too

much overhead to require other people to

deliver it

cuz shipping is a big part of these

things but you’re saying you just go to

the shipping fees are crazy and you

involuntarily these are all people who

did not give their consent to receive a

box to receive this blessing

involuntarily

okay is there any more to the okay so

that sounded like a plea for help no I

think he’s highlighting one of the great

advantages of the service which is once

you’re in your family you’re in and once

again you’re involuntarily in and it’s

ants in your bed which you don’t choose

greatness greatness chooses you would

you say that’s true dr. London I depend

on it variable and I like it very even T

our boxes are greatness I look you need

to stop sending it to these people who

specifically say that they do not want

that was only one of our customers

though how many are there

that who’s to say there’s actually no

way to know well you you hand deliver

these yourself so there’s I would think

that there’s a way you must track these

because you’ve been doing it every week

enough for someone to post a video

online about it

yeah but I’m so wasted the entire time

that I’m doing this stuff like it’s

impossible to keep track of it for you

specific who knows okay all right well I

guess here can we can we hear just one

more customer review this is from a dis

separate customer it’s not the guy we

were just listening to okay

well my name is Damien ant and I’m

supposed to do a review of the a jockey

talk abouts this is the most wonderful

thing I’ve ever done best gift ever

it comes every day I didn’t have to

subscribe to it just appears it was

filled completely with ants I while the

hands at first I was a little confused

as I think one should be but then I

started to train the ants I have a huge

ant farm now and they like bring me

breakfast and give me and they clothed

me I didn’t have this suit jacket until

yesterday I didn’t buy it it just

appeared with the jockey box you can get

one too you heard it from a happy

customer that jock Doc bucks for only

$35 a month get it today well you’ll

have no choice in the matter

[Music]

all right Cameron you said we had a

guest today we do dr. London okay

hello I’m do bid I am Cupid’s half twin

brother dude what’s up hello my name is

dr. London smith.com

this is Cameron what brings you to the

show or dupit am I saying that correctly

yes if you get past me you’re meant to

be and also D comes after C oh so you’re

a your half-brother of Cupid half twin

brothers twin brother okay are you

identical twins or we’re fraternal twins

okay we have different fathers all right

so what what you know how a dog can have

many different puppies from any

different parent dogs yes I never asked

them my mother has the same Anatomy as a

dog

although she is a goddess Cupid’s father

is as you know mercury and my father is

a troll you have to give riddles to to

get across his bridge you have to give

this troll riddles or you have to answer

the trolls riddles it’s a back and forth

exchange okay it’s kind of like he gives

you a riddle you have to answer it but

then you kind of give him one that he

can use later maybe are you used meant

to hang out eventually

yes he has a wonderful sunroom okay and

you just it’s just a riddle game with

each other well your your father sounds

nice as you know cupid shoots arrows

into unsuspecting future couples and I

come in about six months later I

challenge you when you fight me you get

stronger if you can’t make it past me

you’re not meant to be and also Dee

comes after see whoa I picked up on that

earlier so this is what you mean by we

have to get past you as you do we have

to defeat you in battle is that right

you could almost describe it as a battle

I think I think what dupit is saying is

six months into a relationship

hmm dupa drains certain challenges to

either strengthen the relationship or

end the relation look cupid is all lovey

dovey and easy that’s the beginning part

of relationships and making them fall in

love but if the human comes in six

months later and has them kind of prove

their love right when you start to

notice the way he chews you’re in the

ring with dupit oh wow

okay when you notice that she’s just

putting her dishes in the sink rather

than dishwasher I’m their issues with

laundry I’m sure I but before we keep

listing these things I guess what I’m

wondering so what brings you here today

it’s just to kind of help us get a grip

on because I guess Cameron’s in a

long relationship now we’ve been through

many many rounds it’s oh so it’s every

six months you come back it varies what

is a very bi what what are the factors

that bring you around besides we know

the first round is six months into a

relationship so beyond that let’s say

we’re let’s say we’re talking about a

thirty year marriage

well actually what if we talked about

your 15 year relationship okay little

bit easier just for an example so what

are the things in in my relationship

that’s summin dupit when i start to see

that you don’t think she’s cute and

cuddly anymore

you think she’s fat and lazy that’s me

so you made her fat and lazy like a huge

pig or you manifest as her fat no I

start to whisper into Cameron’s ear so

she gets fat and lazy on around and then

you come along to make me notice it it’s

the way you view her when you were early

on in the relationship you thought she

was cute and cuddly you thought she was

like a rabbit and like I didn’t notice

that she was fat and lazy before but she

had been the entire time like a shallow

house situation it’s all about

perspective Wow okay so really that the

challenge that you bring to a given

relationship is just notifying a given

person about flaws and their significant

other when you speak positively about

someone when you tell the truth you say

you’re bringing something to light when

you tell the negative truth you are

bringing it into the shadow so I’m just

cute

shadow basically and I am trying to show

you the other side of things yes she

could be viewed as cute and cuddly but

she can also be viewed as fat and lazy

and that is the part that I bring out if

you can acknowledge that she’s fat and

lazy and still love her you have won the

round with DuPage and I still did and

she’s gotten fatter and lazier every

single year and cuter I suddenly don’t

love that just fat lazy person dupit can

you give me some examples that you’ve

done recently in in different

relationships not anyone here but your

involvement in someone’s relationship I

guess I have a question I think he’s

leading up to a question about me what

he read in my diary so I had talked to a

girl and I had kind of freaked out over

something I said in the conversation and

I sent a very long text the next day

followed up with an email that that was

longer and and then they said oh I

didn’t even know that but so I guess I’m

wondering is my overanalyzing was that

you I was working on her Oh what was she

oh it’s it Oh to see how bad I was

unfortunately okay so that just marked

okay that’s just another mark against me

apparently she did not pass the

challenge she didn’t want to okay all

right well that okay so that’s an

example I guess of of the interplay with

someone that’s not in this room I mean

are you involved like a common one that

I’ve you know heard about is someone

leaving their dirty clothes on the floor

and maybe their partner getting upset

about that oh yeah that’s a hundred

percent me so what’s your involvement of

that do you come in and do you tell the

person hey just leave your clothes on

the floor it doesn’t matter you’re

already in a relationship right who

years or are you on the other side of it

the person does that by their own free

will and you’re in the other person’s

ear saying hey did you notice those

clothes although the floor they don’t

appreciate you both sides know I’m on

the side of the person who doesn’t leave

the laundry Wow so you don’t necessarily

create flaws and people I point them out

yeah you’re more about shining a light

on them or a share or a shadow as you

had said before yeah yes okay I have

another one so one time I was at a

museum and I was staring at this this

attractive girl there and like she would

move on to look at another painting and

that would fall a little bit like fairly

distant not not trying to not be weird

nearby and then I would say that if you

have to question the distance that

you’re moving behind someone it’s

already weird but go ahead well I guess

that’s really the whole that was the

whole encounter

I like you I were you talking about the

petite redhead at the Louvre okay yeah

yes that’d be that’d be her yes cupid

had shot you and I showed up immediately

what did you what did you what what did

you point out to this redhead I said

that man is going to kill you Oh make

sense okay so you just

you spoke those specific where you

didn’t say like oh he could be a stalker

you just said that man is going to kill

you speaking to a woman doesn’t take

much I could just say look at that man

behind you and she would already say

he’s going to murder me yeah I guess

that makes sense especially when the man

behind her is calculating how much

distance is between him and her and

pretending to look at paintings oh yeah

changing the situation to make it seem

like he’s keeping a further distance

than he wants to my job’s not hard when

it comes to bending people off from dr.

London yeah that’s that kind of makes

sense but it does sort of sound like

you’re not just pointing out the flaws

but your course sort of

leaping to conclusions about what those

flaws might be is that part of your job

we’re not feeling sassy okay so in that

example with the clothes on the floor

and you come in and you’re not just

telling them oh hey did you notice the

clothes he left on this floor are you

telling them some of the other things as

well I usually say they have a horrible

mental disorder that makes sense okay

like a hoarder that kind of thing

exactly okay all right uh okay well it’s

just do you I’ve always wanted to ask

cupid this but I feel like I can ask you

this as well because I’m sure would

apply but do you ever find love yourself

love is impossible for me oh no there’s

no love in the shadows well have you

thought about you know turning on a

light going outside during the daytime

not if I’m gonna protect my bridge

oh I’m you have a bridge I guess we

hadn’t specifically established this

because I know you’re your father when

he passed away I had to take over the

bridge as well I’m doing many jobs okay

so are you exchanging riddles as well

like is that part of your side gig

I don’t do riddles so much as I do

stand-up comedy uh-huh oh that’s so much

worse that is harsh and that’s from your

bridge or I guess you go out to comedy

clubs and then do people who go to your

bridge then just have to be subjected to

your comedy I wouldn’t use the word

subjected okay get to enjoy before they

are allowed to cross my bridge okay all

right this actually sounds difficult

because that sounds like you have two

separate jobs all right and is how is

the pay for having you’re guarding

you’re guarding a bridge correct I don’t

think the gods and I mean trolls and

whatnot I’m not sure they’re getting

paid I’m not either not in the sense we

don’t get paid in the sense that you

understand well in what sense do you

this is all new to me

just presenting my understanding we feed

on emotional energy okay

so pay is very good for me so you get

paid by making people feel worse not

necessarily not with the comedy stuff

but with the like hurdles that you throw

in relationships or is it just feeling

at all or do you get paid in the

satisfaction of making their

relationship stronger when they know

okay sorry

oh wow okay no the strength that they

have to exude to defeat me is what I

feed on okay that makes sense

okay and it’s emotional strength that

they’re fighting with what I mean do you

could you like what is one of the harder

challenges you’ve given someone is there

I mean is there like a big challenge

you’ve ever thrown into a relationship I

once put broccoli and somebody’s teeth I

would do it for 15 years would do it

Cameron yeah you’ve been in a

relationship for 15 years correct yeah

that’s true

have you noticed I’ve noticed something

like do you do you floss floss

yeah like the fortnight like the dance

like the backpack kid well they don’t

only make that sound effect but yeah

that dance

yeah no I’m talking about for dental for

oral care oh yeah I get taken care of

okay I’m sorry I meant for dentistry no

no no no no floss no never okay and

you’ve never thought like I should I

should go ahead and floss now I do it

every day just okay I guess no further

questions there that it sounds like

you’ve got a as long as you you haven’t

felt the need no one in your life anyone

you’re you’re in a relationship with

know me and my fat lazy girlfriend are

very happy okay and no one has any

concerns for what’s in the others teeth

no no one’s looked at each other’s teeth

and years so that’s never an issue no

one’s you don’t look at each other’s

teeth for years

no she’s fat and lazy what she’s too

lazy to look at my teeth and I’m too

disgusted oh by her teeth yeah is there

broccoli in them yeah okay okay well I

guess

dupa died I guess that that’s is this

what you’re referring to

don’t you understand patient autonomy

yeah that’s right okay oh we could was

there anything else stupid that you

needed to sort of to tell us like a

reason why you came to this podcast

specifically to the jock Dawg podcast I

was bored

with the two jobs I guess yeah okay well

thank you for coming dupit in the in in

this upcoming Valentine season is there

maybe kind of any hint that we’ll see

you out and about like while we’re out

and about looking at other couples

getting into fights I mean is there any

clue that you’re you’re among us I do

have plans for a young woman who’s about

to get very interested in farming

tarantulas mm that’ll do it okay all

right well thank you for being on the

show thank you to digital in the hose

[Music]

pump that blood throughout the body pump

that blood throughout the body pump that

blood throughout the body have to dress

what your party

thank you to our producer Cameron and my

name is dr. Lennon smith.com this has

been the jock doc podcast see ya

pump that blood throughout the body pump

that blood throughout the body pump that

blood throughout the body have to dress

whoop

before you flip a coin well the closest

thing you had to a coin which is your

graduation cap it came up heads you grab

the next closest thing to a coin and try

to flip that but it is actually a coin

purse and it barely even flips finally

you realize that maybe you will not be

able to make this decision with a mere

coin flip you reach your verdict the

decision that may haunt you for several

if not a very few minutes to come you

utter the words toasted and the sandwich

artist puts your sandwich in the oven

you realize that you made the right

choice

speaking of right choices it is time to

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[Music]

[Applause]