Hey kids you’re about to listen to a

comedy podcast that means that none of

this is medical advice

if you need medical advice some medical

care please contact your doctor

welcome to the jock doc podcast

featuring

dr london smith if you do not like this

podcast

then you have serious mental problems

and you need to see a doctor

and that’s a jock doc guarantee

introducing

dr london smith

hello and welcome to the jock doc

podcast

where we discuss fitness and health and

how to incorporate

our modern understanding of science and

medicine into our daily lives

but without it being so boring i’m your

host

Dr londonsmith.com i would like to

begin

by apologizing to our listeners we’ve

received

some feedback about the excessive amount

of technical medical terms that i’ve

been using

such as motile trichomone ads and

rock the vote so i’ll try to temper my

terminology to a simpler one in the

future

here to help with that is our producer

cameron dr london hey

tricketty trackety let’s listen to this

podcast kadetty

okay um i’m trying out i’m trying out

new taglines

we don’t have a tag line have you

noticed that everyone has been emailing

me like i don’t know what to tell people

your tagline is because we got nothing

we’ve kind of gotten not bored not so

boring was the

not so boring but that’s barely even a

tagline

but the problem with this is i now that

i’ve done a lot more research

on this most of the words that are used

in the english language have been taken

by other podcast taglines

95 percent of which are murder podcasts

um and then the other five percent being

of course

about uh like old defunct westworld

podcast that

everyone abandoned after the first

season yeah and so

i’m kind of forced to uh be a little

loose be a little liberal with what we

could consider words

so right now i’ve said set it on

tricketty trackity

let’s listen to this podcast

um because we can’t use the word podcast

in the tech line at all if we want to

knock it end up in court i well you know

that

podcast is also in the name of our

podcast

yes that’s fine okay but the tagline

that’s fine because it is a podcast we

can have that in the title but the

tagline itself it just can’t be done

so i’ve got podcast tv

um i’ve also got oddly the word porridge

has not been used in a single tagline we

could just say

like welcome to uh this porridge okay so

the only issue i see with that is i’m

not sure that porridge has a lot to do

with

you know our our particular topic

of medicine i feel like i feel like the

implication is there like i feel like

context clues will just help a lot with

this anyway i i don’t mean to stop

everything but throughout the show i’m

gonna be i’m gonna be testing a lot of

these out okay

all right well um so so that was our

producer cameron but also with us

is digital the whole

tricky

oh that is stanky

[Music]

tricketty tricky

hey

[Music]

hey hey

did you do the house

oh that was a good one and uh later

cameron tells me we can expect and this

is kind of a big deal uh

two surgeons

that’s right dr london wow and that’s

you know you bring out a lot of

guests just from off the street but it’s

it’s really nice to hear that

you know you’re actually bringing on

real medical professionals so

i’m very excited for this and we got

them two for the price of one

okay did you do you so you paid

well it’s it’s not like pay it’s not

like paid it’s like

you do the podcast or you’re not gonna

get this thing back

or you’re not going to see this person

again like that it’s usually that kind

of transaction

so you mean so so you did you kidnap

someone

no no no no it’s a transaction but

this time it’s two for the price of one

so you kidnapped one

person for that the details

you’re trying you’re announcing the

details of the contract to

the public which you should not do these

are contracts dr london

okay well i you know before we move on i

would like to address a bit of

listener feedback so i found this note

tie-dyed in sequence into the

undergarments that i had left

drawing on a clothesline outside the

yeah yeah the note reads quote good day

my name is to enjoy you pleasure i send

this inquiry in regards to some urinal

please kindly get back to me for payment

for good time and beautiful ladies end

quote

so first of all um thank you so much for

reaching out to us here at the jock talk

podcast

yes uh we love to hear from listeners to

answer your question

i i actually do not think that we are

currently in the urinal

selling business but

but i do want to ask cameron have you

been selling urinals

i have not been selling urinals but i

can kind of see where maybe this is

going is that i’ve been

i’ve been selling sort of our podcast to

be played above urinals

you know sometimes like in a sports bar

they’ll have like a little screen or

whatever it might be showing a game or

it might just be kind of like

rotating through announcements right

i’ve kind of contracted out

above urinals at these sports bars so

you go to the bathroom you’re going to

take a piss

and then just our podcast is the second

you start peeing

it starts blaring as loud as possible

you don’t know it because it’s off when

you walk in it’s silent

and the second you start going it starts

going

chalk dog podcast okay

so and right now that’s the bulk of our

listeners

yes so all two of our listeners

wow um so

so they’re paying us so okay okay well

at least we’re getting paid for this

that’s that’s nice oh yeah

yeah i mean i only had to pay them like

like 6 400

to do that okay because

so it’s not because the and this

i think you’re ignoring the biggest part

of this email which he says

like get back to me for a good time that

means he’s not having a good time with

our podcast dr

london well i should clarify concerning

it’s not an email it was

written in my undergarments on the

clothesline outside but yeah

right right right the principal remains

is that what you think an email is

yeah an email is just any exchange

of words after like 1995.

so if it’s written on a post-it note if

it’s uh you know sent through snail mail

if it’s uh skyriding if it’s

uh you know through the trades like if

you’re sort of like giving people secret

messages through the trades um all of

that

all of that’s an email okay well you

know you’re the tech guy

between us like zodiac type letters if

that were to be sent today

you would say oh that’s the zodiac’s

email okay

uh well now for today’s medical topic

silicosis

hold on he’s look he’s looking he’s

looking for fun

we’ve got an opportunity here with this

whole tagline thing

to like make this podcast a little more

fun and attract

and keep these listeners okay

so okay so can we just real quick we’re

just gonna go one word at a time we’re

gonna tagline this okay

the podcast okay the tagline

for the podcast though uh

is this the tagline for the tagline or

the tagline for the podcast

it’s impossible to tell all right ready

i think i guess

fish chomp

fish chomp blue fins

okay that’s it okay fish chomp blue fins

it’s the jock dock podcast i

i feel like we may need available in six

u.s

states uh i i just don’t i don’t see how

that’s really

you know applying to any of what we are

you you want to stick with just the word

porridge

no no i i think not so boring is pretty

good though

all right we’re just gonna work with

porridge for right now but we’re gonna

keep working on this okay go ahead go

ahead

okay now for today’s medical topic

silicosis silicosis is a localized and

nodular peri-bronchial fibrosis

more common in the upper lobes of the

lungs silicosis can be acute

following a massive exposure to silicone

leading to rapid onset

and death but it can also be a chronic

with symptoms showing years after

exposure

it is also associated with an increased

risk of tuberculosis

as it is in environmental lung disease

patients

should be asked about exposure to mining

stone cutting

and glass manufacturing as these are

situations in which

silica can be inhaled exertional

shortness of breath is the main

presenting symptoms uh

they can also have cough with sputum and

restrictive

pulmonary function abnormalities all

right

hold on hold on okay because this is i i

i get where you’re coming from now i you

complain a lot that the podcast is not

serious enough and it’s not medical

enough and it’s not educational enough

right and so i’m trying to appeal more

to you and to your kind and to the kind

of people you’re trying to attract

so yeah like our guests yeah so the jock

doc podcast

localized nodule cribrosius with chronic

glass manufacturing external costs but

um

okay i feel like see you’ve got some of

those keywords right

um but i feel like you didn’t really

use them in an order that makes sense

and those are for a specific diagnosis

as opposed to a description of a medical

education podcast

do you see i mean i feel i feel like i’m

hitting all the hits here i mean i i

i is there nothing i can do correct in

your eyes

oh doctor i welcome to the jock dock

podcast

localized nodule cribrosis with the

chronic glass manufacturing external

costs but um

if you heard that would you think oh

that’d be a nice medical education

podcast

i would think this podcast is for must

be for geniuses because i don’t know

what’s going on and if i want to maybe

learn something

i need to check it out okay i i feel

like that’s not the message i get

this is the strongest one we’ve come up

with so far and

i think it it appeals both to you know

my kind of people

you know like the fun kooky kind of

people and your kind of people the

um doctors the people who avoid taxes

the people who um

you know are super wealthy that kind of

thing okay well

um anyway just to finish up here for on

imaging

uh eggshell calcifications may also be

seen on chest x-ray

and treatment um you know most

importantly does involve removal from

exposure to silica

and you know also supportive care but uh

yeah i’m really not seeing how that

that whole idea would make a good

tagline we’re really just

dj dillon yes make that tagline cool as

hell

welcome to the jock talk podcast

localized nodule cray brushes with a

chronic glass manufacturing external

costs

okay you’re telling me you don’t like

that no

no that was better than i thought it

could be

the jock talk podcast localized nodule

fibrosis with

chronic glass manufacturing external

cough spuddle

not so boring uh let’s just move on then

all right uh cameron do we have a

sponsor today that is right dr london i

actually

am very very excited about this sponsor

i i’m always excited about our sponsors

of course but

this i mean this is incredible

technology

are you excited to hear about it yeah

yeah i’m you know we’re always trying to

be on sort of the cutting edge

you know both with our medical knowledge

but also with

uh yeah any sort of technological front

especially with

telemedicine well this is not the

telemedicine company

so maybe this could be something that

you could use to i don’t know

impress some of your patients this is

actually a clothing company that we’re

working with

and this they’ve invented something here

which is incredible which i’m sure

you’ve seen

people who have um you know kind of

t-shirts and they might have like sort

of different light up displays on them

or you’ve seen

like uh maybe a holographic looking kind

of image on this shirt

this company they’ve been able to put

full i mean full huge gifts

moving images on t-shirts

isn’t that i mean that’s amazing right

oh well like uh so like

i would assume like what’s your what’s

your favorite gift dr lennon is there a

gift that you see on the internet every

once in a while

yeah i think it’s uh i think it’s from

like an infomercial a guy who’s

holding a bunch of stuff and then he

trips

yeah you could put that on a shirt or i

have one where a guy

he’s like eating something and then he

gives a thumbs up i think that one’s

hilarious

and you’ve got mail oh wait hold on i

just got an email from

the company they

they said okay they’re

still working on the feature to have

custom

gifts like that but currently you can

choose from the gifts that they

self-select okay okay that’s cool

so for right now you can’t you can’t

upload your own gifs but

the company i’m i’m sure has like some

awesome

uh little you know looping funny images

and and different

animations and who knows who maybe

spongebob is on there i i don’t know

who knows that you’ve got mail okay it

says

no spongebob no spiderman no

no characters of any kind well that’s

specific but like

so like the one i mentioned might have

yeah or maybe

something like that maybe it’s just to

give someone giving a thumbs up

or or smiling you’ve got mail oh

wait hold on no i got another email that

says no nothing like that actually

we’ve only been able to get one gift to

work so far

and it’s of a rat giving birth

okay so really

it’s not so much a like a gift

shirt as it is a gift of a rat

giving birth shirt yeah i get it’s

well i mean it is a gift shirt

it’s just the only gift that can exist

on it you’ve got mail

one oh he sent it over oh man

that is gross that’s yeah

there’s a lot of blood for one thing and

it

mixed with the so i guess i mean we dr

lynn we cannot lose the sponsor we can’t

be

like grossed out or rude about it yeah

you were telling me

like this is our best sponsor so far

just in terms of communication

and how sort of excited

both parties were to to have them on the

podcast in an email

rather than like a like a series of

toilet paper

rolls it’s huge that’s

brand new for well for you uh

so okay if you want a cool piece of

technology and you want to you know

where to school

or you know you know where to your job

or dr london where to your hospital or

whatever

if you want to wear a cool moving shirt

of a a rat giving live birth

um well i guess mostly live birth i

don’t

that one’s not moving oh man

okay and also if you want to wear a

shirt

what’s the name we’re at giving birth

and maybe having

like a partial miscarriage then you just

want to contact our sponsor

deadratshirt.com okay so

so they bought the appropriate url

well no this the weird thing is is that

it’s called

dead rat shirt and this is the opposite

of death it’s them

giving life i guess it’s ironic in that

way it’s

it’s not the complete opposite because

it’s

mixed in there isn’t it of what’s being

birthed i mean i guess that’s kind of

beautiful

it’s life and death sort of you know yin

and yang

kind of all tangled in there i

i guess there’s there’s some poetry

in there i’m sure this sounds the gift

has looped once it’s just been playing

this whole time for like 10 minutes

i feel like if they can fit this on a

shirt they should be able to fit the guy

giving a thumbs up or whatever

right i would think so i you know i

don’t

i’ve been critical of sponsors before

and then we lose i don’t know the tech i

i i well anyway

uh yeah dead deadrats shirts.com

um just go there get your shirt and um

wear it to school you know i’m sorry uh

just for the listeners because i’m not

positive about the situation but

so the shirt came over on a person

like someone’s wearing it and it looks

blocky and i’m wondering if it’s

like if there’s just a screen cut out

anyway oh you think the person that they

came over to demo it just had like a tv

under the shirt

like because it it looks like sort of a

teletubby attempt

like that style of having a belly yeah

but like

it looks really boxy

yeah it looks messed up is what it looks

like yeah and that’s a no offense to you

sir

that we’re just describing the the

product which i guess

as you present it all right

thanks okay so anyway i guess

but um we don’t want to lose our

sponsors so

no this is if this is the sort of

apparel that you prefer

to wear then sure our listeners

uh what was the name of that website

again deadratshirt.com

use the promo code the the red is giving

birth

all right yeah yeah and

enjoy

[Music]

all right cameron you said that we have

uh guests today and they’re actually

you know real surgeons uh and for for

our

listeners who don’t know so surgeons you

know

any doctor is going to be will have

undergone a large education but a

surgeon in particular they go through

their

four years of university you know

undergraduate level university

then four years of graduate level

medical school

plus five years of surgery uh residency

minimum

and you know we’re gonna find out from

them about their specializing

how anyway just all that to say

yeah that sounds great i mean i’m sure

not everyone has to do all that kind of

stuff i’m sure if you’re smart you can

kind of skip some stuff and kind of

speed stuff along

just because people didn’t go as slow as

you did when you went to medical school

dr london i’d

you know shouldn’t hold that against

people your jealousy

he’s not even saying the words right

it’s sergion so uh

okay yes and this is oh and see that is

interesting

it is interesting how there’s so many

words that

come from other countries or other

languages and when they get over to

america we just botch

them or we say them incorrectly or you

know i read it all the time but i never

hear it

and so how how do i pronounce it

no this is not french we’re not french

serge we’re not french

no france

the way i’ve come to understand how to

pronounce it is sergion

which is of course irish for man who

does the surgery

yeah because only men can do surgeries

especially this type of surgery okay so

i think now is a good time to

introduce our guests uh all right could

you could you introduce yourselves

hi well yes hello my name is it’s doctor

sturgeon sean o’connell

and uh of course with me as always my

colleague jameson

mcpatsyclin jameson all these years it’s

paxy klein and i’m about to retire i’m

about to retire and you still can’t get

it right

you know i’ve never really been a big

i’m more of a faces guy i see your face

and i go i remember that face

you’re facing and i’ve remembered ever

since we did our residency at

massachusetts general hospital dr mc

patsy klein how many days left do you

have until retirement

uh a little bit too many it’s it’s like

right under

it’s right under 70. i can’t somewhere

in the 60s upper 60s

wow it’s amazing that’s exciting yeah

i’d have to

i’d have to count but uh us irish don’t

do that

oh you guys are irish yes we are we are

irish surgeons and i know you’ve heard

all the jokes before

laugh it up especially around

what we’ve been doing lately the jokes

about how irish surgeons always have a

shamrock shake in one hand while they’re

doing the surgeries right

i’m not okay i’m not trying to bring up

stereotypes like that i’m really not i’m

not trying to upset you but that’s what

people say

you know but we we just want to say

we’ve heard all the jokes already

okay so can we move on well

i guess given that question you know the

question is kind of hanging in the air

could you

either endorse or dispel that in a given

surgery are you holding a shamrock shake

just to like are you accusing of magic

what do you mean dispel

jamieson doesn’t know a lot of words

you’ll have to really spell it out for

him

i think it would be d i s

i’m telling you we we’re not magicians

we’re irish

we’re irish circumcisionists

so that’s the kind of sergei sergei

rohi that you guys do yes we are

gonz uh when we work within the art of

circumcision did you uh cause this this

sounds like one of those topics that’s

more

covered under general surgery or like i

guess more specifically pediatric

surgery

if you will sorry i and i guess

are you are you originally from ireland

is that why maybe that’s why i’m not

getting a pronunciation

the same does that does that really

really matter

for you i mean unfortunately for dr

london it really really does

so jameson is a little touchy about uh

his

irish heritage i personally am a 19th

generation immigrant

um and of course my colleague jamison is

from where did you say you were from

again

well i you know what it doesn’t really

matter but there’s a boat involved

overseas then i no i have a yacht that

i’m retiring to

that’s where you’re from is a yacht that

you’re retiring to

none of your business i’m really sorry

yeah why are we getting in i’m the

doctor here

business i’m sorry yeah we’re

we’re not here to to talk about uh the

differences between

the pronunciation of surgery and jerry

and i’m not here to talk about you know

the fact that we are

i i irish surgeons and and who who

par it’s it’s it’s neither here nor

there i’m here to talk about our brand

new venture can we can we please just

yes this is this is this is all i want

to hear about i want to hear why you

guys are here i want to hear what you

got going on

yeah what you got what you got under the

hood

we’ve got we’ve teamed up me and mr uh

how do you pronounce it again mick patsy

cline

patsy clone yeah jamison me and my

colleague jamison mcpatsy klein

and uh our assistant blaine hill uh who

does a lot of the cleaning

we have opened up one of the world’s

very first

circumcision parlors okay

because we we found ourselves after uh

all

three years of medical school that we

went to

finding it difficult to pay back our our

student loans for medical school and of

course

when when when things get dire you got

to turn to the thing you love

and turn it into a meaningful side

hustle

they say if you cut a penis off every

day you’ll never work a day in your life

and you know i’m hearing more about

these kind of side hustles like this

uh you know like everyone’s getting into

uber or you know doing door dash

and things like that i i mean is this

something that’s

are you trying to like what kind of

market are you guys trying to compete

with here

yeah well let me tell you like you could

do uber

or you could take the route that i did

i’m about to get a you know

retire to a yacht and i just took the

router beta self-employed

so what what is it that y’all do though

like at these part like you say

circumcision parlor you just kind of

ended it up there like we’re supposed to

know what that means

i need to hear oh do you not know you

don’t know do you not know you’re not

educated

i’ve never i this is really embarrassing

i’ve never been to one

i’m sorry i’m so sorry have you been to

a barber shop

um wait dr lennon can have i been to a

barbershop

uh it’s the place where they cut your

hair

yeah yeah i’ve been there before yeah

it’s scary

nightmares those scissors right near

your ears

yeah and see we and you don’t want just

somebody taking care of your hair like

yeah you know

we saw that as a big hole in the market

gaping and we decided to say hey you

know what

we’re gonna make sure that there are

professionals

certified professionals there to to

unlike a uh unlike a bow rick’s or a

fantastic sam’s where any

any jag off can come in there with

scissors no

we wanted to take the carrot it

needed to perform circumcisions

in our brick and mortar par circumcision

parlor started by me

sean o’cutting in my my uh a long time

associate jamison mc

how do you pronounce it pat cichlin it’s

patsy clyde

yes and also this this is a this is a

space for people who are

alarmed scatterbrained afraid and so we

don’t have just

chairs you know we were like this feels

like a doctor’s office what do we need

coin operated horses make you feel

comfortable

for for the patience when was the last

time you got

circumcised and i’m i’m throwing this

question out to

all of us oh gosh i mean

oh man i mean it’s got to be like

it’s i would say

like the reason by hoobastink was on the

radio a lot

so it’s gotta be and it’s got we gotta

be talking like oh four

yes and now did you get this uh like

what time of day did you do this during

like

you know five to seven pm like half off

specials or did you go

late night like normal people do oh gosh

well

tip the other radio that was playing

hoover stink i remember there weren’t a

lot of commercials

on at the time so it was probably kind

of the rush hour mix so it would have

been

either 8 a.m or 5 p.m

somewhere between what you would call

normal business hours

yeah you had to take a day off school

had to take a day off work to prepare

you know the appointment that would come

after work yeah

so one thing you brought up with this

this sort of open market

so a lot of people are you know the

these days are kind of scared to go to

their barber

to get a haircut and so i i’m wondering

you mentioned the horsey thing but

is there like do you maintain sterile

field like this is a standard search

goal

of course uh of course like so we we do

have uh we do have sterilization

techniques

um it’s you know i mean i’m sure you’re

familiar with it

it’s like a brown liquid you know you

get it like

half off from five to seven um

but you know all other times it’s about

four bucks plus a tip

so we do sterilize yeah and and i

i hear your concerns especially in these

day in this day and age about

uh you know uh protecting our clientele

from

from pathogens and especially at a high

risk thing like this and i want to

address that by saying

uh when you do what you love you never

work a day in your life and i think i’ll

leave it at that okay

because if you leave it at that that’s

sort of you kind of already made that

point

with the whole with with your uh

i guess you really enjoyed cutting into

uh male genitalia uh how

okay well first of all how dare you okay

i’m sorry

second of all bigot third of all

double triple bigot uh we usually

say a person with a peepee this is more

of a medical term

and i do real quick i just want to

mention i’ve been in dr london’s office

and he has no brown liquid

anywhere going on and so when i hear you

talk about this i’m suddenly concerned

that i’ve been in a doctor office where

there’s just pathogens walking around

and everywhere they’re more hop

if you will ugh that’s disgusting i’ve

never seen dr

what what is going on here well you know

to some extent i’m not as familiar with

the

you know the uh standards for medical

procedures and sterilizations

in ireland so perhaps some of these are

customs from across the pond i know

you know maybe some of our listeners

will chime in because i think we do have

some

some from uh ireland from england

from scotland but you brown

liquidless coward yeah i’m so sorry i

want to clarify we are

we we currently are operating out of

redford michigan

oh um okay but so you’re

you’re licensed in this the u.s though

in

yes the united states of america okay

okay so

so you would be following

proper protocols for your location then

of course yes okay well that’s okay for

the listeners i noticed that you made a

fun

face when you said that he he winked

heavily there no he didn’t is that me i

i just i got something in my eye uh and

it must be because it’s so damn sterile

in here

yeah i just saw a funny silly face

you think irish people have funny faces

i think when they’re telling funny jokes

yeah

i would can we skip the jokes about how

irish people have funny faces when they

tell jokes

yeah thank you thank you doctor

well now look this brown this bra we

take

we take cleanliness seriously and that’s

why we use the brown liquid

and we we just let it we let it flow

around

we let it flow and and you know it it

really helps

people kind of loosen up to the idea

that they’re about to get circumcised

some some people for the first time

since 2004 when hubus thinks the reason

was on the radio sp

it flows more especially five between

five and seven pm you know

yeah we run a special from five to seven

p.m everywhere it’s half off you had

said right

uh or or two for one whatever you know

chops your

[ __ ] yeah we have a

variety of specials that we uh that we

roll out

every day from five to seven honestly

what i’ve learned from my time in

at this uh circumcision uh parlor

is that there’s a community of us you

know

who like to go in every now and then for

a trim up there really becomes a sense

of community

within the parlor and and we have a

great time there i mean

thursday night is ladies night oh wow

come on bye

do you all get a lot of ladies coming

through the circums

season parlor is that is that right

okay now why are you mocking us why are

you mocking us

i’m trying to i’m trying to to to to

honor

y’all’s you think we say that word weird

you think we say that word weird

because i’ve just been saying it normal

no jamison he’s just he was just trying

to

he’s just trying to reach us on our

level you know i i appreciate it i don’t

appreciate it

before my retirement party put your

fists down why are why are you holding

your fist

up at me sir i i’m really sorry i wasn’t

trying to

and rotating them kind of and how else

if you’re gonna talk [ __ ] about

circumcision

i’m gonna fight you and you know what

i’m not trying to i’m not trying to talk

s about anything over here i i just want

to know

like y’all have compared it to getting a

haircut

like going to like uh the barber shop is

this are we

are people getting like designer

circumcisions

of course oh okay so it’s not just like

the straightforward cut like that you’re

expecting

oh no no i’m you know what i’ve been so

uh so in invested in the community of

recurring circumcision

that i forgot that you know some people

just don’t know

about the about the process you know no

now typically you either you either

leave it alone

as a as a baby and then other times you

know you get it

dealt with uh you get it you get it uh

just what we’d like to call

uh just a big razor you know a really

boring just

utility utility first yeah cut a shaved

head if you will what

is it is it sort of like sort of like a

barber shop where people come in with

maybe photos of celebrities or things

like that like maybe they

show you a picture of michael chiklis

and they say i

you know i would like it to look like

that or

i you know i uh specialize in in doing

different logos you know i’ve done the

bmw logo and nike logo

uh the republican uh the republican gop

logo

i’ve done it all and and uh you know

these people walk out

with such a smile on their face

and and i gotta i have a smile on my

face too knowing that they’re out there

confident in their cuts see and and i’m

more of a like kind of old school guy

which is why i’m phasing out because i

just focus on balls mainly you know

oh wow yeah sometimes like the most

forgotten part of circumcision

all right what are you talking about

okay

what are you talking i’m sorry could i

would you mind if i jumped in here for a

moment because i

i do have a question for clarification

so it is

my understanding and once again i’m not

a you know i

i dabble in surgery but i’m not you know

committed to surgery as a specialty like

you

uh usually circumcision is a one-time

thing because that particular

uh part of the male genitalia doesn’t

tend to grow back

usually well i hear your concern and and

i guess what i’m trying to

say is that you know we we really just

we just have a love

for the game and we we can’t see a life

doing anything else

and uh because you know when i look in

the mirror i see i say to myself

you are a man that does circumcision and

yeah that’s and i think that’s why i’m

so passionate about it right now and

i mean dr london that does that answer

your question i

well okay no i feel

and maybe it’s just a lack of

understanding on my part because once

again you’re you

you’re the ones who specialize in this

um oh i’m sorry that your

his passion isn’t enough for you dr

london i am so sorry guess

he that he’s always like this with our

with our guest

why why are we talking to a dabbler just

dabbling just dabbling in surgery

i’m sorry it’s more to you know we have

you on here actually to educate our

listeners so it’s

you know it’s not so much for us to

speak that way although i

think to some extent we are colleagues

but in any case uh

dr patsy cline um yes sir

uh you were talking about the uh

the scrotum which i feel that i hold on

i i never said anything about scrotum

okay maybe i specifically i i

specifically said balls i focus

i’m more of an old school guy who focus

on balls so

when this fancy new boy taking over the

practice

he’s putting bmw logos on it you know

ferrari horses

you know i kind of just was carving

basketballs and footballs

baseballs more of like a sports base but

you know

especially now with with the times

changing

and and all these like old school gender

roles you know

maybe it doesn’t have to be like a

basketball or a baseball it could be

maybe like uh

something girlier like a horse horses

are girly

you’re saying a ferrari horse is girlier

than

a wnba basketball yes yeah i mean yeah i

think so

hmm okay

i think there is a horse based team in

the nba so that that is kind of

you know that’s on par with our uh

practice a horse based team yeah

okay yeah i’m sorry i’m also not as

familiar with basketball so i guess i

really am

maybe i’m out of my depth here well if

you ever want to learn about basketball

maybe come by

our circumcision parlor in redford

michigan and

uh and and you know we can watch one of

the many games we always have a game

going

uh behind the um beyond the um

tool chest tool chest definitely not a

bar

yeah yeah um yeah and you know cause we

look there’s there’s a lot of guys out

there they sometimes bet on the games

you know

it gets a little rowdy we’re mostly a

celtics we’re mostly a celtics parlor

i know more than anyone you get a group

of guys together you get some sort of

brown

liquid sterilization juice going

people are going to be throwing money

down on sports let me tell you

yeah cnn everybody’s having fun and we

do our last circumcision call

at uh usually 2 a.m yeah yeah around 2

a.m yeah 2 a.m

and you know what’s funny is a lot of

people they they come by the parlor the

especially these days they come by the

parlor

and they they don’t even they don’t even

want to circumcision

they don’t buy a circumcision they don’t

seem interested in the circumcision

but i think it’s just the nature of the

community that we’ve built

that that brings people out to just hang

out in the uh

parlor way yeah just like how you might

not need a haircut right now but you

miss your old buddies

so you know what i’m gonna pay the money

i’m gonna get the haircut anyway

and yeah a lot of people are quitters

a lot of people are like they sort of

concessions uh too much for me

you know and i just can’t keep on going

doing that every day and they kind of

like quitters you know

is that why is that why you’re looking

to retire too many quitters in the game

too many quitters yeah i’m gonna i’ll do

i’ll dabble here and there

you know well at some point i would

assume

that people would run out of foreskin i

don’t know if that’s been

um i i i mean

you you kind of sound like somebody who

would run out of foreskin but

most people that i’ve met have an

abundant

i’d call it even maybe a sick skin

do you look at bald people and go oh you

must have just run out of hair

because you got too many haircuts it

doesn’t work like that

these our cells are constantly as doctor

to doctor

surgeon to regular doctor let me just

say surgeon to dabble

cells re regenerate cells

multiply it’s it’s a call it’s a thing

called multi

multiplicity and our cells are going

through it all the time

and that’s why you you know you you you

can actually

stretch your foreskin out it’s called

jelking

uh in order to rebuild your foreskin in

order for us to

you know to take another crack at the

design we were going up the first

time so it’s really there’s really

nothing at risk

and there’s there’s nothing that that

should hold you back

from getting yourself uh you know maybe

a nice little jock

dock uh logo you know just

well team pride yeah it sounds like the

only thing the thing at risk here

is that uh uh some adidas fanboys might

see my nike logo and try to start some

trouble am i right

i mean yeah and that’s the worst part

because when you see

when you see somebody that has like a

bad

uh you know logo down there that you

disagree with

a lot of times other people just try and

like suck it off to

be like you need to put a nike swoosh on

there

none of this adidas mutt now yeah cause

i constantly kids will come in like give

me the old swoosh and i go are you sure

about this

you know how the people who like adidas

will might take this and they go yeah

i’m sure

wow and i haven’t gotten a complaint so

brave souls

some people change their mind they come

back a couple days and we suck it off

them and then we put on a new

logo they’re just a few a few points of

confusion for me on this part and once

again

this could just be from i i don’t

specialize in this particularly

um if everyone is seeing that a given

person

endorsed a given sports brand say like

nike or adidas

uh how are they sketchers

is is this like a region specific thing

in in

michigan where sperries people are

exposing their genitalia to others in

order to and then

someone will recognize a logo on it

because i don’t see this situation

happening in normal day-to-day life

where someone sees the logo on accident

and it becomes sort of uh

you know it sounds kind of like a gang

issue

yeah i i think i do see what’s going on

here and it

is easy and i do relate with this uh

because i know my three years in medical

school i came out being like

what’s up and down when you’re in

academia for so

long you kind of let society

slip away from you yeah every sense of

the world

in pursuit of expert knowledge in one

specific field

and uh the answer to your question is

you know if i learned more about

circumcision every day and i wouldn’t i

wouldn’t have any other career path

if i could go back and do it all again i

do it the exact same way

except maybe a couple of things what

would do differently

but for the most part yeah to answer

your question yeah

mostly and that’s why you’ll never work

a day in your life

that’s right you’re damn right i will

never work a day in my life

i mean dr london is this ar are y’all

are y’all gonna offer dr london a job i

gotta ask i feel like this

like he’d have to come in as an intern

at first obviously he has to like learn

the ropes

interested in i do i have one question

i have one question that will determine

whether or not

you are uh o’cut against material

and the question is this do you want to

go

where everybody knows your name yes

well uh for for yeah well like usually

you have an id that you wear

and your name will be generally you know

they’ll say

this is the the sergion who is

performing the surgery like people are

usually made well aware of who is doing

it

and if you have a team that you work

with regularly then

sure i would expect that um if so

but i feel like i do get that at you

know at my own

practice as well so

and cameron just to clarify here i don’t

know that i would want to work in this

particular

practice uh i i have a few reservations

about it

and i don’t don’t say you don’t want to

work for them

in an interview dr london i’m trying to

get you the job

yes oh you’re trying to pass them off

no i just think this would be a good

interesting field for him it sounds like

i mean if you’re able to retire back on

the yacht that you grew up in

i feel like this would be a great avenue

for dr london to sort of move towards

you know what there is uh you know after

the however many days it’s gonna take

uh for retirement to hit for for jamison

uh i believe is something around 65 68

something like that

um there will be a change in uh

in uh in the hierarchy here at

o’cottigan’s

we’re gonna we’re gonna lose our veteran

which means i’m gonna become the veteran

in our dishwash um

our um assistant

will be moving up to apprentice so we

are looking for a new bus

um uh um a new

a new uh assistant is this something

that would

interest you i don’t i don’t think so

because once again i am

you know i am a practicing physician

already so

i feel like assistant yeah he’s not

confident enough in his credentials

that’s yeah

when are you gonna stop practicing and

actually start working

[Music]

okay uh and is this is this you can put

in all the practice

hey they say practice makes uh perfect

but perfect ain’t [ __ ]

get to cutting

[Applause]

that is an old irish property okay

because i’ve i’ve heard it and i didn’t

want to

say it in case that was offensive maybe

if i said it it would have been

it depends on how you pronounce

circumcision i’ve got

i’ve got two questions dr lane can i ask

two more questions sure but then

i should remind you we have we do have a

chores to get

okay okay okay

question number one is five to seven

half off on the brown sterilization

liquid does that also include

uh the other kind of maybe the clear

liquids

sterilization liquids because i usually

do more of a

uh a darker liquid with coke typically

no no no mixed sterilization

no wine when he’s off when he’s out we

let it slide

but i’m a purist yeah

if i’m if i’m on my shift then yeah oh

so you’re one of those like

cash only only brown sterilization

liquid type of plastic i see what you’re

saying that’s right hey i can respect

that yeah

we need to we don’t want to you know

go through the whole rigmarole of having

a health inspector come in

because they don’t understand our our

business for our art

very few do and for them to be like oh

you know you can’t be

serving this here or you know you don’t

have a food license or

it’s just like okay can we just live

geez

yeah jeez that’s why i’m getting out of

the game

i mean you gotta have something to eat

to go with the brown sterilization

liquid dr london

well i don’t you normally don’t drink

that is

i guess my issue there well no that’s

half off between

five and seven get a couple of those bad

boys in your stomach i mean i’m gonna

need some

some chips and queso or no something to

snack on a little peanuts only

oh it’s just it’s a peanut only is this

part of the old school yeah they’re free

but you know peanuts for everybody we

will sometimes allow outside food i mean

there

there’s a great um there’s a really

great plastic surgery pizza place just

down the street so we allow the house

yeah it’s called pizza face okay and if

you’re looking for a place to get a good

uh cup of sterilization liquid uh you

know

hang out with some buddies watch the

game you know

maybe your favorite sports team like cut

into your penis yes

calm down

it’s a place where everyone’s gonna know

your name because you know

making your way in the world today it

takes everything you got

yeah and cheers to that but that is i

mean can i

can i do this again great well i feel

like that’s

as good a time as any to you know sort

of

finish up this portion because we really

uh i’m cameron

like i hate to say it but like we do

have chores that we have to get to

oh okay so i hate yeah so

okay so for for any listeners who are

unaware we um

basically we here at the jock talk

podcast have been putting off

chores we just have these assignments

that we just need to do

and we put them off for so long that now

it’s just a mountain of them so we

organize them into

uh spokes on a wheel so we spin the

wheel to find out

what the chore is for today now

the biggest slice of pizza on your wheel

is uh

to check out the big time garbage

podcast right yes

yes so it’s and that will be

added i get so okay so that’s another

chore to add great

more chores for the future so just

another thing to add to the damn list

it’s never gonna

never time garbage podcast great no it’s

uh

no we need more chores uh

okay hold on okay just spin the wheel

go ahead and spin the wheel london climb

up the ladder

and jump

all right it says build

the cyber truck oh i was like

okay all right so let me let me explain

this to the listeners

so i was playing bocce ball the other

day with elon musk

and we were well we were playing bocce

ball and then we were also

sending children into his uh kid-sized

submarines and we were kind of just

shooting them down into a tunnel

i don’t know where they went they did

not come back up but we were just joking

around and we were like

we were just like elon like what’s going

on with the cyber truck i know you

debuted this thing but what the hell is

going on with it

and he was like dude i’ve got no idea

but that’s your job now

so this is what we got to do and guys uh

uh

if you all can help as well if our

guests can help as well we’re just gonna

like

go through what features we want to see

in the cyber truck where you make a list

we’re going to design

the the most badass

truck imaginable number one is that is

that cool yeah i’d say number one

yeah yeah yeah no computers okay

i like it which because you don’t want

to be distracted playing like mine

sweeper or whatever the hell while

you’re trying to trigger

it although i could see that being

helpful depending on

where you’re driving but okay so no

computers

oh like if you were driving near a

a field with a lot of mines yeah do you

guys normally drive around those

minefields in a tesla truck in a cyber

truck i don’t know where i drive

you know that’s it’s it’s new territory

for me

that is true until we until we like

figure out what’s going to go on in this

truck because we don’t even know what

terrain it can work on yet

so i mean like the typical i mean like

all-terrain vehicle can sort of like

oh like go up hills and go up mountains

or whatever but like

how many cars can go straight into

lava so do we want that

i can’t think of a sink i can’t think of

a single one

i’m thinking of like ford focus i’m

thinking of like the buick lacrosse

and i know that these cars cannot

those are the only ones i’ve driven into

lava so i know for sure from first-hand

experience

have you tried the corolla they’re not

pretty sturdy have you driven that one

in the lava

oh okay i haven’t i mean i can get my

hands on

it may not be like such a cornered

market that but

i guess that should be a feature that we

should have still i still think a good

feature

no computer so we’re going to go

computerless right

lava proof just simple just simple all

right what else we’ve got to add to this

thing

i think and this is sort of just a

preference for me

uh no cup holders either

hell yeah brother i think there should

be a flask holder

one for flat yeah i do like that the

only liquids allowed

is booze how about that

in a flask no windshield fluid well yeah

we would need a computer to verify that

the liquid is

booze unfortunately maybe there could be

a guy in each cyber truck just to check

if it’s booze or not

that now that is an interesting idea and

this actually opens up an entire new

like sort of paradigm of features here

if we’re including like people coming

with the car

you know i’ve i’ve talked to elon musk a

couple times who actually did a um a

tesla logo on on hit on him

at the shop and and you know he

i know this as well anybody else he

loves to push those boundaries

he loves to say that’s not possible and

he’ll go

yes it is and so i don’t think this

would be a problem with him

well plus it would create jobs and

that’s you know

that’s really the end goal right and

especially like right now with covid19

going on and all this kind of stuff

i mean i think what better than to have

your car

shipped with a couple people inside

now i personally i drive a

2013 chevy cruze and i found

my favorite thing about this vehicle

that i don’t

see in a lot of other vehicles is

uh is a check engine light

uh it’s always on there it’s always on

and it’s always it’s always saying hey

check out the engine and it’s always

like things it is good to remember and

other cars you know that other cars just

don’t

have those or maybe they expect you to

remember it yourself that you’re

supposed to check the engine every once

in a while

yeah exactly so i would like to have a

light that indicates

hey hey maybe check in on your friends

that sounds like a computer

sounds like a computer to me so i think

if we could go around that

we could draw a picture of check engine

light on maybe his

palm or the bottom of his foot and he

holds it up

it’s not just one indicator light like

it’s got to be a

a lot of things indicating so maybe

there could be just like an artist

next to the booze checker that just kind

of sketches out uh hey

perfect no check on the wheel synergy

i’m actually gonna

maybe kind of give an opportunity for

you guys maybe instead of

a a typical old school

artist that uses you know a pen and

paper to draw the check engine light

why don’t we talk to a couple of

circumcision artists

who could maybe notch that bad boy into

the owners

schling schlong

i think this is all you because i’m

about to retire and i don’t think

there’s ever

the check the football light that comes

on in any cars

but is this some is this some this is

our car is this something we need to be

adding to it

check the football light like a check

the football light

check the basketball light check the

nike logo light these sort of

things will the light be through how

bright would light be because i assume

that they will wear you know

undergarments

you know and trousers and whatever so

i’m these are concerns that i have like

for the driver will this inconvenience

them will be uncomfortable at

any point it sounds like the culture

that you guys are from

is a lot different from what i what i’ve

come to know in terms of

private well maybe maybe instead of like

messing with what we’ve already come up

with we just give them comfort in

another area

okay they’re happy so what’s a what’s a

way that we can make our driver more

comfortable

you know what you know what really uh uh

something that bothers me about

my car and when i’m in other cars is i’m

just so annoyed by the radio do we need

to have speakers in there because to me

nothing beats live entertainment okay

yes yes yes yes so

we bring in a band well i was thinking

more like maybe if we could get jason

moraz

we could sort of get him in the mix i’m

sorry this might be a personal thing i

just don’t like music i’m not a big

music guy

i just don’t understand why there’s

speakers in my

truck and music is coming out and not a

guy speaking

okay would you rather have

um what if maybe like because i listen

to podcasts when i’m

driving around in my car like do you

think maybe we can get like a live

podcast

in each in each season you’re thinking

maybe try to get like an

ira glass inside of the cyber truck when

you purchase it

i think that would be a good idea that

would move a lot of units

i mean can we consolidate this can ira

glass be the alcohol checker and also

penis cutter that is

goes with you on your journey i don’t

know this is the kind of thinking that

elon loves

i love it and i know elon’s going to do

he’s going to freak

that’s a great idea that is a good idea

you take three mechanisms

get it down into one powerful

all right i mean we need to we just need

one more sort of like

something to take it home sometimes

we can put on the commercial truck beds

in the front

truck bed there it is there it is fellas

truck bed is in the front

so you’d see all the goods you got and

always keep an eye on your stuff

that’s amazing and you know if you’re

moving something bigger like a mattress

or something like that

you can sort of like appreciate hey you

know what

look at look at the stuff that i’ve

earned throughout my life yeah

look at how in the way this is i like

that your example was a mattress because

yes every time i’m moving a mattress i’m

thinking

look at what i’ve done i finally made it

wait do you have a truck with a truck

bed in the front of the truck

no how do you do okay so you drive in

reverse when you move

there are other ways to look at

mattresses okay yes

i guess that is true all right i mean i

think we can sort of wrap a bow on this

thing yeah

all right we’re just gonna send it over

to

i don’t know the car maker place is that

like

you don’t you don’t have direct contact

with elon at any given time it’s he

contacts you

not after the bocce ball game i’ll tell

you that yeah he

completely so we’ll have to i mean we’ll

have to figure that out in a

sort of roundabout way i guess but all

right i think we got it

hell yeah well hey thanks so much for

having us on

on you on the program uh if you’re in

the redford michigan area and you’re

looking for a trim

come by o’connegans and uh yeah he’ll be

leaving

uh let’s just say you’re gonna wish he

had a cyber truck so you can

uh you wouldn’t have to drive it home uh

where

and oh also 21 and up okay and

um for anyone who wants to maybe if they

don’t live in the area if they want to

kind of follow you or keep track of any

uh anything you’re posting um

do you have anything to promote saturday

nights uh at the parlor at o’connegan’s

one two four five eight uh seven mile

road seven beach daily

um we have a live comedy show where we

have a podcast come and do circumcision

based and penis-based jokes

they’re called the big time garbage

fellas and

they have a podcast that is on itunes

spotify

and uh stager yeah and also if you want

to leave a message

uh we we have a phone number it’s 313

has

z gas and you can leave one

h-a-s-z-g-a-s and we will play it to

everyone at the ba

barler parlor with the parlor

for circumcisions yeah

all right well um thank you to our

guests

uh dr patsy cline

and dr o’connegan uh uh dr

mcpatsy klein doctor i’m sorry mick

patsy cline

uh our two sergions

who you know took their time out of

their busy schedule to come on the show

uh thank you to our producer cameron

thank you to

did you doing the hoes making your way

in the world today it takes everything

it takes everything

[Music]

yeah and cheers to that bud now dr

london

i do i have one question and the

question is this

do you want to go where everybody knows

your name

get to cotton

[Music]

cotton get the cotton get the corn

get to cotton get to cotton

takes everything

[Music]

get to cotton

[Music]

[Music]

no

my name is dr londonsmith.com and this

has been

the jock doc podcast see ya

[Music]

get to cotton

get to cotton you reach out hesitantly

and grab the baton the hand that was

holding it

immediately lets go as the hands owner

leans over

panting you hold the baton in front of

you

amazed at how shiny and cylindrical

this mysterious object is the crowd’s

chanting was once very recently

very affirming but now seems to be

changing in tone to angry yelling and

booing

but you cannot take your gaze from the

baton’s allure

you hear the words not stir up

in the wind distantly as your coach runs

up and snaps his fingers in front of

your face multiple times to get your

attention

and by golly it works you look into his

cold blue eyes

as he stares past yours into your soul

we talked about this remember he asks

the depths of your spirit when they pass

you the baton

it’s your turn to run that’s what makes

it a relay race

please just run you laugh and you hug

him

pretending to understand seeing him

staring impatiently at the baton

you realize what he must want so you

hand it to him

and in a confusing turn of events he

seems even more frustrated

but this is where you draw the line you

do not

tolerate bad vibes so you back away

slowly at first but then you start

picking up your pace and running

back the way you came good vibes only

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